“No is a complete sentence.” – Anne Lamott

No. I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with the word. I love the word because it has given me an option and I love options.  But throughout my 20’s, I hated using it in fear of disappointing or upsetting folks. There have been countless times that my mind has shouted, NO over my heart’s whisper of Yes. I never thought it was enough and always dreaded explaining myself. I also never wanted to hurt feelings or make someone uncomfortable. Bottom line — I’ve been afraid of the repercussions of the word. When I turned 30, I remember thinking, I can’t wait to turn 40! I had been told that at 40, you lose all worries and can finally give No the love it deserves. But I’m now realizing that I need to stop creating boundaries on when things should or need to happen and allow them to happen organically. It’s possible to be the 40-year old woman I always dreamt of being at 35+.

Since I’ve been attempting to live in the NOW, I’ve come to respect the word. No isn’t always negative. No isn’t a synonym for selfish. No doesn’t always need to be justified or explained. No is freedom. No is self-acceptance. No is confidence. No is complete. For the first time in my life, I’m telling people, “No” and I’m not feeling the guilt that once was attached. I am finally learning to put my feelings and comfort first. At 35+, my heart is finally expressing its love for NO.


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