Rhythm

It all started 5+ years ago… I turned that freakin’ knob! I knew the day would come and I even thought I was ready to embrace it with open arms (by that point in my life, I needed a hug), but the moment I realized what I had done, I felt… different.  I always promised myself I would never, ever do it and yet there I was sitting in traffic, craving a change, and turning the radio right dab in the middle of a cool, hip, rap song to a hot, nostalgic, soulful tune. That moment was definitely the first sign of 30.

How could I not have a desire to go back to the place I had known for so long? Why didn’t I enjoy singing with the masses anymore?  I knew the answer but I wasn’t sure that I was ready to become… different. The once hip beats and raunchy lyrics all seem to be one song that I just didn’t want to move to anymore.

Since that life-changing moment, I’ve struggled to not only learning a new dance, but becoming comfortable with the movement. Through each lesson, I have found myself reflecting and sometimes regretting (for a minute or two before realizing you can’t live life with regrets) my moves of my 20’s. During that era, I had so many great things to look forward to, high goals to reach, and dreams to conquer. I woke up to 20 with goals of a successful career; wishes of meeting the man I would spend the rest of my life with; and hopes of becoming a complete spiritual being. And after years of  dancing and tired feet, I’m still dreaming of a successful career; I’m still waiting for Mr. Right; and I’m still working on that spiritual woman at 35+.

Even though it took me ten years to turn the station, I have no regrets to the dances that I’ve danced, the songs that I’ve sung, or the music that I’ve played — I can now close my eyes and actually feel the rhythm instead of just hearing the music.  I can now look back and celebrate everything I did wrong in my 20’s and I’m learning to find the happiness within myself, missteps and all.

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1 Comment »

  1. ladybison said

    “The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela

    I happy to see this wonderful, beautiful, inspiring, conscious and courageous action of yours taking place for all to see (and read)!!!

    The gauntlet has been thrown, let the conquering begin….

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