Archive for December, 2011

Ego

Six Components of Ego (according to Wayne Dyer)

1. I AM what I have

2. I AM what I do

3. I AM what other people think of me

4. I AM separate from everybody else

5. I AM separate from what’s missing in my life

6. I AM separate from God

In my 20′s, I was never aware of my Ego. I always called it self-confidence. It wasn’t until Eckert Tole’s “The New Earth” that I became aware of not only the power of the Ego, but the unconditional power I had given mine. Over the last few years, the different components of the Ego have been revealed to me and I think Wayne Dyer’s list is a great guide to discovering your Ego. Throughout my 20′s, I filled my mind to capacity of what I should have, where I should be, why I should have, and who I should be. These thoughts and expectations have blocked my creativity, my judgement, and my greatness. Since coming to terms with my Ego, I now call it out when it appears by just making a mental acknowledgement of, “That’s my Ego!” This simple action has decreased its presence in my life.  At 35+, I’m no longer defending my Ego… I’m living empty.

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Light

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

This week I learned the importance of letting your light shine. For years, I’ve been guilty of dimming my own light in fear of blinding not only others, but myself. I was always trying to make others comfortable – I was always trying to make myself comfortable. I was also afraid of the reaction people would have after witnessing my brightness – And I was constantly afraid of the responsibility of retaining the brightness. In my 20′s, I made an unconscious decision to only reveal parts of me that I felt matched the situation. If I was among writers, I was a writer. If I was among the television community, I worked in Post. If I was among a discontented person, I was an unfulfilled friend. I was always changing to fit in so it’s really not a surprise that I was confused and uncomfortable with my true identity as a whole.

In two different meetings this week, I did something that I normally don’t do — I introduced Kim, the writer. After shining the light, I immediately tried to adjust it by defending my writing. The person stopped me and said, “It’s okay, I’m also a writer.” At that moment something clicked. Not only was I accepted with open arms, but I discovered that others have the same layers that I thought were unique to me. I realized it was okay. Actually, it had always been okay. It was me — For all of those years, I constantly made the choice, out of fear, to shrink myself small enough to fit comfortably in any situation.

Since I started hugging my passions, I am now embracing myself as everything that I am and I’m finally starting to be comfortable in the light. At 35+, I’m no longer dimming my light. I no longer need shades and I’m not responsible for any blinding that may occur. I’ve finally accepted and connected the many pieces of me and today my choice is to stand tall, brightness and all.

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