Archive for October, 2011

Celebration

“If you’re not living your life at such a level that pee isn’t running down your leg, then you’re living too small.” – Iyanla Vanzant

Today, I celebrate my 35+ birthday. My past birthdays have always been about the external celebrations: trips, parties, people, Mrs. Beasley’s cake. However, this year, I’m going to try something different.

The past few years have really been a journey of self discovery for me. When I was told I was being let go at my job two years ago, my first thought was, “Yes! I can go to Disneyland on my birthday!” since it was the following Tuesday. After that initial thought, my mind immediately told me it was finally time to pursue my passion, so I went into double-speed, action mode and it turned out to be the best year of my life. However, I didn’t realize how devastated I would later become, not because I was happy and/or passionate about the job, but because 1.) I had never been let go from a job and 2.) It was a place where I had become comfortable.  So, after the positive and productive year, my ego remained bruised. Even though my mind didn’t want to care about anything attached to the job, I was still angry and didn’t understand why I couldn’t let it go.

I have been dreading and dodging the hard work it takes to actively participate in the journey since my 20′s. I pretended to want to put in the work by buying self-help books that I never completed and doing soul-searching without even opening myself up to allow the digging to begin. I even went as far as thinking that I could maybe speak it into existence. For the past couple of years, God has been trying to get my attention to let me know it was time. It started with small taps that I ignored, then hits that I procrastinated to acknowledge, and finally a push that literally knocked me off the pedestal. Thanks to Oprah’s Lifeclass, I’ve learned that when you’re comfortable, you’re not growing. And all of this time, I had been ignoring all the signs around me because I had settled in a cozy, over-sized chair on the pedestal with a  snugly blanket - I was so comfortable.

Since I am now walking on this journey instead of speeding my way through like I’ve attempted to do in the past, I can now see why I had to be let go from that job. And at 35+, I no longer want to be comfortable. I want to live with pee running down my leg at all times! So, today, I’m celebrating Kim! I’m celebrating the journey! I’m celebrating living big!

Comments (1)

Death

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.” – Steve Jobs

I used to be terrified of death. The mention of the word would send my mind into a spiral of what, how, when. I would even look the other way whenever I drove passed a cemetary. After losing my mother, I was forced to deal with it, but I still struggled with understanding it.

The passing of Steve Jobs last week affected me in ways that I would have never imagined. I remember being sad when I first heard of his illness years ago. A few years later, I also remember thinking that his wealth had kept him alive longer than most. I was a loyal consumer of the Apple Brand and respected his creativity and passion. But at the end of the day, I’d never met him and didn’t really know anything about him, besides his connection to Apple.

However, when I read on my Yahoo page that he had died, something changed. After confirming his death on TMZ.com (yes, I confirm EVERYTHING on TMZ), I wanted to know more about Steve Jobs, the man.  I read his Wikipedia page and was instantly inspired. Steve Jobs was a wealthy, powerful, creative genuis who couldn’t escape death. And during his time spent here, he was able to live to his full potential because he understood death.

“No one wants to die, even people who want to go to Heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be. Because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent; it clears out the old to make way for the new.” – Steve Jobs

So, at 35+, I’m now understanding death, which is removing the fear from it. For the last four days, I’ve been really clearing my head for something new. I have to stop focusing on what I don’t have and concentrate on what I’m capable of doing. And I have to start doing in order to stop the fear. Remembering that I will be dead soon has helped me to make the choice to live to my full potential every day that God has chosen me to live.  Thank you, Steve Jobs!

Leave a Comment

Food

“We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are.” -            Adelle Davis

During my freshman year of college, I ate a cheeseburger every day, sometimes twice a day. My first partaking  of lettuce was a Caesar salad four years ago at a wedding. Anyone who knows me, is aware of my long, extensive list (mostly filled with fruits and vegetables) of foods that I “don’t” eat. However, that list is slowly, maybe at a snail’s pace, starting to change.

In my older years (yes, 35+ is older), I am now noticing the different effects foods are having on my body. Whether it’s the lack of energy or just good old-fashioned pain, my body has had enough and is protesting my years of abusive behavior.  I’ve been moving towards healthier eating by growing a garden (watermelon from my garden pictured above) so I think it’s time for me to take a jump. FOOD REHAB!!!

For the month of October (my birth month), I am going to be conscious of everything I put in my mouth. Since the first week is usually the time for withdrawal, I am giving up burgers for a whole week (yes, I’m taking baby steps). Okay, make that two weeks!!

Yes!!! I’m ready for a new and improved 35+ body! Maybe, I can even lose a few pounds in the process. I’ll keep you posted…

Leave a Comment

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.